What to do when Financial Goals change in your relationship: 3 ways to navigate shifting tides of life

Couples Therapy

Discussing changes in financial goals with your partner can be challenging, but it is essential for maintaining a healthy and successful relationship.

There are many ways that your financial goals may shift throughout a long-term relationship:

  • You may change your mind about procreation (decided to have children when you did not want them before, or vice versa)

  • One (or both) of you may want to shift career paths, which might require going back to school or a cross-country move

  • There may be an inherited amount of wealth that opens up new possibilities

  • Likewise, an unexpected expense — long-term or short-term — might come into your lives

Whatever the way that your financial goals shift, the worst thing you can do is avoid the conversation. The new hopes and fears should be discussed so that you can navigate how this will change your financial and relational life.

Here are three tips to help navigate these conversations effectively:


1. Schedule Regular Financial Check-Ins: Set aside dedicated time to have open and honest discussions about your financial goals. This could be a quarterly or annual meeting where you both have the opportunity to share any your priorities, hopes, concerns, or new aspirations. Creating a regular platform for these conversations can help ensure that both partners feel heard and understood… and greatly decreases the likelihood of a huge financial shift coming as a surprise to one partner. One of the best times to do this is at the end or beginning of the year. It can be a great way to set up your strategy as a couple of how you are going to meet these goals together.
2. Practice Active Listening: When discussing shifting financial goals, it's important to actively listen to your partner's perspective without judgment. Allow them the opportunity to express their thoughts and concerns fully before responding. This will create an environment of mutual respect and understanding, which is crucial when navigating changes in financial goals. You may also be transparent about how difficult it is for you to share this shifting priority.
3. Seek Compromise and Common Ground: If there are differing opinions on financial goals, aim to find common ground and seek compromise. It's essential to approach the conversation with a willingness to understand each other's viewpoints and work together to find a solution that aligns with both of your long-term objectives. Remember that finding a middle ground may require time and patience, so be open to revisiting the discussion as needed.


Navigating shifting financial goals in a relationship requires empathy, communication, and a willingness to work together as a team. By implementing these tips, you can foster a healthy environment for discussing and adapting to changes in your financial aspirations.

If you (or someone you know) needs help with this, give me a call. Couples Financial Therapy can be wonderful for helping discuss these issues. If I am not a good fit, I will help them find someone who is.

Email: DrZepeda@FinancialTherapyTexas.com

Phone: 713-291-9553

Serving Texas & Florida Online

(with an in-person option in Houston, TX)

Texas - 10521 Willowgrove Drive, Houston, TX 77035

Florida - 7901 4th St N, Suite 300, St. Petersburg, FL 33702

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